Inspirations and where you find them

Where do you find your inspirations? Do you even think about it? Read a little inspirational quote, smile, and move on...or do you actually look at the people and things around you and draw strength from them?
For most of my life I've been rather oblivious to the inspirations around me. Over the last couple of years though, I've really taken a hard look at my life and realized how much strength I draw from the people and things around me.
My niece had open heart surgery, 6 days later she's home. That kind of internal strength amazes me.
My friend Skylar's dad and his family are amazing examples of human determination and grit and above all love of family.
This seems silly writing it out but the one that really made me look around is someone I don't even know. Everyday, on my way into work, I see a woman walking on the back country roads that I drive. At first I didn't notice her more than just in passing. Over time though I noticed more about her. Her walk is slightly off. She doesn't swing her arm. The side of her face droops just a bit. I finally realized she probably had a small stroke at some point. I also realized that this woman walks at least 5 or 6 miles. I see her at different points depending on how early I've driven into work. Hard work and more determination than I can imagine.
All of these people, and so many more, are inspirations to me. They help me keep my spirits up and keep me moving when sometimes I just want to sit down and give up.
What or who are your inspirations?

Here's a thought...

I'm just going to quit going to the doctor. Every time I go I get sicker!
On top of the Fibro I have also been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. It's mainly in my wrists, thumbs, and a few other pain in the ass (literally) spots. I'm on several different drugs at the moment. I'm starting to think my doctor is using me to replace all the money he lost in his 401k.
:::sigh:::
Am I depressed...no.
Am I cranky....stupid question I've been cranky since I was 8.
What I really am is pissed off and determined to wring every last bit of activity and action out of this breaking down body as humanly possible. By golly, my own body is not going to make me give up the things I want to do in my life!
So there!!

Stress even on vacation

OK, I've been drinking...so take this with a grain of salt. It's amazing the amount of stress you get even in a vacation atmospere. You don't realize how much your attitude can affect the people around you! One of my sister-in-laws (I have 4), who I love dearly, was stressing out yesterday while we were on Put-In-Bay and it made me stressed and caused a flare...I was miserable and taking so much Tramadol I was scared I would OD.
Now I understand projecting your feelings onto others, but I don't think those that are not affected by stress so much understand the impact they can have on the people around them.
So, in my slightly tipsy haze I have determined to keep my stressed out emotions to myself. There is no reason for me to project those feelings onto other people. At the same time I will ignore those stressing around me when I have no reason to be affected by it.
For those of you reading this on Facebook updates...you can see it directly at http://fibromyalgiawillnotwin.blogspot.com/
Thanks for reading!! Drink on!!

Handicap Parking

This is going to be more of a rant than a blog post...so those who don't want to watch me have a verbal meltdown, stop reading.
To the dozens of idiots who think they should have a police badge but don't,
Yes I have a hadicap parking placard. I really didn't want it, but my doctor insisted...and he was right. There are times when it makes the difference between stoping for milk on the way home and not.
Yes, I am quite young. Brown hair, no real wrinkles yet...yes I have a handicap parking placard.
No, it's not my grandparent's...they're dead. No, it's not illegal for me to use my own placard.
Yes I have a disability, it's called Fibromyalgia. I'm sorry you've never heard of it. Yes it's real! No, not all disabilities are visible. Would you be saying that to a person with cardiac problems?
Go ahead and call the police. Since it's my placard it won't bother me a bit. Really...go ahead. OK, don't but if you don't stop harrassing me I'm going to call them.
Make a face at me and if I'm in a certain mood I will make one back. I let a lot roll off, and generally keep a good attitude, but if I'm achy and tired goodness knows what will happen. Don't act surprised when someone reacts to your pissy looks.
Please go away, you're shaking my faith in humanity.
Signed,
A cranky Raven

Handshakes

I was going to write a post about stress, but that one is just going to have to wait a bit. Let's discuss handshakes instead.
Right now my right hand and wrist are throbbing. Thankfully, I have pain killers in my purse, so I know the pain will end soon. This could have been prevented if someone had taken a hint. They bring new hires around at work and introduce them to everyone. This is someone I will probably never see again and will not remember my name 20 minutes from now. Never the less, they are introduced and 9 times out of 10 these new hires want to shake your hand.
Not many people know I have been diagnosed with Fibro here at work. Mainly because I am trying to get ahead and don't want these people thinking I would not be able to do the job. I would not apply for a position I don't think I could physically handle, but I don't need the label stuck on me. I've been trying to come up with different ways to shake hands without subjecting myself to the 7 levels of hell afterwards and for the most part I've found that shaking with my fingertips works best. I might get a strange look, but the people accept the shake and move on.
Of course though, along comes a person that needs to be hit by a clue-by-four and decides they should still give the hearty squeeze and pump my arm up and down. :::sigh::: I know, I'm young-ish...I shouldn't have a problem shaking your hand Mr. New Hire, but for gods sake let go of me before I gnaw my hand off at the wrist!!
So, now I'm going to have to decided do I endure the pain and pop more pills, do I tell people I don't shake hands and get strange looks, or do I start hiding under my desk when I hear them coming around with the new people?

Bookstore Fail

Hubby and I had a date night last night. Nothing big, we went to Outback and had dinner then went over to Border's to browse around.
Now I've been reading a lot online about Fibro, but these websites only have so much bandwidth so they really can't post a book's worth of info on the web. So I've been looking online at books to buy. Unless it's an author I know though, I usually prefer to look at the books before I buy them.
So, last night I wander over to the health section and start looking for the Fibro books. (this is where the fail comes in) Where do I find them? On the shelf that basically sits on the floor. I had to get down on the floor to actually look at them, and the get back up. That's painful!! Yes, the occasional non-fibro person may buy these books, but for the most part it's going to be people with Fibro that want to buy them.
Now I know that the people at Border's did not set out to cause people with Fibro pain, or make things inconvenient for them. They are following some sort of plan-o-gram I'm sure. It just annoys me though that corporate drone-ism overcomes actual caring about the customers and knowing what they sell and why.
Oh-well, I told the guy at the checkout about the bad placement. He said he would tell the manager. Next time I go in we'll see if it did any good.

(cross posted on my old blog)

I was going to write about...???

One the symptoms of Fibro is memory issues. My short term memory has gone to hell in a handbasket. It's made even worse by the fact that I'm ADD so I was always kind of out in la-la land. I've started making lists. I have lists all over the place. But then I have to try and remember where the heck I put the lists. It's a self perpetuating cycle of doom.
I keep a cute pad a paper in my purse so when I'm out and I remember something I can try and write it down. So far I've only remembered once that I actually have a pad of paper with me.
I have post-its all over my desk with notes to myself. Notes to call so and so, noted to check on something in the system, notes to remember something at home. If the environmental people ever get wind about me they are going to stage a protest in my front yard.
The one that is the best though is when I email myself from work to home to try and remember something. I'll read the email and then go downstair to do whatever the note reminded me...forget...go back upstairs re-read the note...go downstairs...it's great exercise. (don't laugh, I've done that twice now)
There was something else I was going to tell you about my notes, but I forgot.